Approved!

We are officially fit to be parents as deemed by the Alberta Government.

Commence the madness.

We got a call 2 nights ago from our home study writer asking for a bit more info. She then informed us that our Adoption workers' boss (or team leader) had been phoning asking if she was going to approve us and if she could hurry things along (by the sounds of things, we are within a few weeks of placement). This apparently is unusual to happen like this. Needles to say, the last two days have been a manic high of what I can only describe as nesting.

I'm a crazy person with all my cleaning and sorting and organizing and that's normal, but now I've now taken it up a notch. I also can't focus at work and mostly just wonder around the office with a notebook so it looks like I'm working while I chat with people. And then I leave early. I'm probably driving people nuts with my glazed over tired eyes (can't sleep - too excited) and blank stares as they try to relay important information but all that is in my head is ohmyohmyohmyohmyohmyohmy.

It feels like there's so much to do yet there's not a lot we can do. We can buy a few things for their room (there's a shopping outing in the works for tomorrow:) but need to wait for confirmation if we are going to be placed with a particular 4 year old boy we know about before we do too much. And really, how else do you prepare for a 4 year old stranger coming to live in your house forever? I'm sure he'll appreciate my dustbusted base boards and toothbrush scrubbed bathroom tiles and all, but what else can you do to prepare for something like this?!

There are moments when I doubt myself that I can do this, then there are others where I think I'm going to kick some serious mothering butt. All I do know for sure is that I'm excited and scared and feeling very humbled by the people around me who share in my excitement. So thank you for your support and believing that I can do this, it means more to me then I could every let you know.

Deep breath...keep cleaning...soak it all in...try not to cry too much...enjoy...repeat...

Same Same

Nothing much has changed since last week.

More waiting. More small projects (ie. operation goodbye crack tub). More reading and enjoying the sunshine.

And I'm looking for a tutor to learn Spanish. It's on the bucket list and needs to be checked off before we go to South America again. That probably won't happen for at least 3 years or so, and so I figure that's enough time to get a hold on a language;)

 And also this:

 If at first you don't succeed....it's definitely worth a second shot. Particularly if the thing you didn't succeed at was delicious. They are mini but delightful (and don't small things always taste better?)

 

 The beautiful grey quilt from the heap on the floor is in the process of being bound. It is looking like it will be on our bed by August, just in time for some late summer snow fall. I'm kidding. Sort of. 

  

A night out at the Thee-a-tar...

 

Anthony had his performance the other night for his theater camp. He loves acting, and he's pretty good at it. And for the first time he was into getting a bit of a costume together. I was all over it. Even though it only consisted of turning a tie into a bow tie and buying a button down shirt and making it into short sleeves (he was a candy man - not in this picture though. here he was a gingerbread man. it's all very confusing) you bet it was one helluva bow and spectacular sewing job on those skinny sleeves. Loved it.

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Afterwards, Gord and I went for a late night ice cream run (it looks like the middle of the day, but this is about 9:30 pm). I have heard about Village Ice Cream and I will be a repeat offender. Salted Caramel, uh yeah. Toasted Coconut - yes please.

 The garden hath explodeth. I'm not sure how much salad one can consume but I'm about to find out.

 The sun room in the warm summer evenings is my favorite place to be. Sigh....

And today was zucchini madness. I haven't baked in a while and who cares that it's 25 degrees out? I certainly did not. Now that the kitchen is 97 degrees, I do actually care a little....

And the time has come to deal with the crack tub. I've bought enough chemicals to kill a small preschool and I'm hoping I don't burn off my skin in the process.

Off to find something to make for dinner that doesn't require me being in the kitchen...maybe we'll just gnaw on lettuce!

Calmer and hotter. And lots of Squares

I have simmered down a bit since I last wrote. I've been keeping busy with a few projects, reading and enjoying the heat - I've been in heaven with all this heat. Usually Calgary has one day in the summer that makes it to +30, two if you're really lucky. But generally our summers are luke warm at best - which is still nice, but I can do hot. I love hot. I'm happy when it's hot. And this last week I have been in my glory. Unfortunately it also makes me lazy so it feels like I haven't done much, but looking at all the photos from the last 10 days or so it appears I'm not as lazy as I think!

My happy place. If you don't look anywhere else in the yard it actually looks half decent (well, better than it was!)

And enjoy it I do!

Cherries on the deck and some Pinterest goodness!

Stampede Fireworks (4 locations in the city with the exact same show at the exact same time) 

We are going again tonight because I luv me some fireworks

 Stampede Breakfasts; besides fireworks, free pancakes is my Stampede event. We managed three this year, one of which we volunteered at and sliced up 7 watermelons for our Community Centre:)

 Last week Gord and I left the city and went to the foothills for some quiet-get-me-out-of-the-house-im-going-crazy time. We read by the river and had lunch in a small town. Ahhhhh.

 I made THE best raspberry creamsicles. Unfortunately, they didn't come out of the popsicle mold and spoons are too big to fit in them too. I was like a monkey with a tool digging out the goodness because it was oh so worth it...anybody know where to find a good popsicle mold?!

 Our garden is exploding with radishes and mini lettuce. I really don't plant that much, but when it all comes at once we eat a lot of salad. Still to come; beets, carrots, potato, peas and onion. Yum Yum.

 (Oh Blogger, I love how you don't let me lay out photos properly....)

So my friend and I have been sending fabric back and forth from Calgary to Adelaide for the couple years (we really slacked off in the middle there so it took a while). We'd cut squares, a few at time, and send them but would keep the exact same squares for ourselves. The idea is we will haveWe now have enough to make a double quilt but can't decide on what colour to use as a solid. Chris is leaning towards black, and I'm a white fan, but white seems to be be a default and maybe I need to try something different. I can sort of picture the dark red...maybe. Any ideas? Please help help!

AND, I finally got my grey quilt quilted. It's lovely! And here it sadly sits in a heap with it's binding ready to be cut and sewn. I need me a rainy day - just one so I can justify leaving the sunny deck to rescue this beautiful thing from the basement floor!

I think that's enough blabbing about nothing for now! I'm off to attempt creamsicles again, they were just too darn good to give up on that easily!

A wee mess

As of last Tuesday I have been an official mess. My stomach hurts, I feel nausea, I'm a bit - umm, make that a lot, snippy and above all I am soooo irritable. That's because as of Tuesday we are done our home study and can't do anything else but wait. And I'm not so good at waiting. In fact, I'm terrible at it. And my terribleness in waiting comes out in the form of being really anxious which in turn looks like a crazy person who obsessively cleans the house and gets irritated when things are out of place (more than usual that is).

So, I've made a few goals for myself for the next 4-6 (we hope) weeks to help me cope. 1. I am going to work out like the crazy person I am. Back in April I challenged myself to work out everyday for a month and minus 2 days I did it and I felt fantastic. And while I pushed myself really hard then, now it's time to take up a notch. I am determined to squat and lunge my way to being kick-ass strong.  2. Learn about bathtubs. Our bathtub is gross; the enamel is worn off, the caulking was never done right and it's flaky and moldy, there isn't a proper shower head - just a nozzle half falling off the wall...It's so bad that we stopped using it and only use the stand up shower in the basement. So I'm going to fix it. How? I have no idea but I"m going to try! 3. Sew sew sew. I have so much fabric and so many plans that I need to call in sick to work just to make a dent (um, not that I've ever done that before. Ever. Except those 3 or 4 times that I did). I have a quilt to bind, a quilt to sew, a cushion to cover and a skirt to make. Must. Sew. Plus I'd like to make a slue of other things but I'm gunna start there for now:) 4. Sit and on my deck. We've spend some time getting the deck all purdy and if you don't look anywhere else in the yard it actually looks decent. Problem is, the weather has turned nice and when I'm work all I think about is being at home on my deck. Ok, this isn't really a problem. 5. Come up with a goal. If I'm going to stay home for 9 months I need to have some kind of personal goal to keep myself me. I don't know what my goal will be but I wrote it on my to do list to find a goal so this I will think about (perhaps while sitting on my deck!).

Hopefully between those few things I will be a bit less crazy towards my family and not drive them into their own madness over the next few weeks. Since today is the first of July, the exercise challenge starts today (there's actually a couple of us in on it) and so off I must go to kick some serious jiggly butt!

June update

This, this is going to be random. I wanted to write something sentimental. Something smart, something inspiring. But I've been sitting here for almost an hour chatting with my sister on Facebook and my mind is full of none of those things. Instead, here's the last week or so in photos.

 Fathers Day: Pancakes and Avengers. All. Morning. Long. (we never eat in front of the tv. It was special)

I have decided to look at cooking dinner as more of an opportunity to hone my culinary skills instead of a chore. This way, things are much more enjoyable. This Sunday I made a roast (delicious), whipped califlower (not so delicious - mostly because the blender is no substitute for a broken food processer. Lesson learned) and procuitto wrapped asparagus (success!)  
 

 And for dessert, I decided "enough Pining, time to do something to justify those hours of clicking and scrolling" so I made this: Apple and Brie with brown sugar and cinnamon (that's the butter on top pre-wrap and bake). This is the before shot; I ate the after shot. I panicked and skimped on the apple, and let me tell you, don't skimp on the apple. Also, raisins would be a good addition. Just sayin' for next time...

 The house has been kid proofed. Tomorrow is our last home study meeting and we have been busy little bees, bolting down tv's, finding lock boxes for meds, fire extinguishers, baby gates, electrical plugs, first aid kits and the list goes on. I've been whining a little (ok a lot) about it, but really in the end it all doesn't matter. JUST GIVE US OUR KID ALREADY!!!!

Meanwhile, this kid went to his first sleepover camp. No parents, not even 1 out of 4 for a whole 30 hours. Phew. He made it and even had fun (a 7/10 if you ask him). That's good news since he's going to a 5 day sleep away camp in a few weeks...ready for the big leagues!

 I made a skirt! It was super easy, about 2.5 hours. I love it and want to make more but I have a quilt at the quilters that will need binding and another quilt that needs to get sewn together and and and about another 8 projects on my list so we shall see how many more summer skirts get done (that and I need to wait for a good sale at Fabricland!)

 

 About 2 weeks ago on an unexpected sunny afternoon I plunked all our seeds into our garden. Finally. And basically it's been raining ever since. Such is life in Calgary. Despite all the rain, things are growing already The novelty of growing things doesn't ever seem to wear thin for me. I love it. I think it's amazing. This year we expanded our garden and now are attempting to have  beets, carrots, radish, peas, lettuce, potatoes, and onion.Yipeee!

And because of all the rain, I've been doing a lot. A LOT. of this. We got a library card and have actually been twice, which is one more time than the last time we renewed the card three years ago. It was cozy and nice the first few days and now I feel like I'm going to loose my mind if I don't get some consistent sunshine back in my life. I also really need to the sun to shine because it's embarrassing how much time I've spent on Pintrest, particularly the last few days. Enough. Give me my summer!

There's my not sentimental, smart or inspiring post. I feel it brewing, it's right there under the surface, so maybe next time I'll blow your mind with some steller thoughts. Maybe not, but maybe....

Ontario 2012: Epic Family Visiting Adventure

 We are back.

 It was a long visit and a good visit. There were many hours spent driving, many hours spent eating and many hanging wit da family and some friends. Oh, and the heat, for the love of everything crunchy and sweet, the heat was magnificent.

 
I particularly had fun spending time with my niece and nephew stuffing my face, and theirs, with all things sugary, sticky, food coloring full, and delicious :) Also learning more about my sisters new business and how excited and well she is doing at it; makes this little sister proud!

A 40 degree day at Canada's Wonderland

Wonderfully cheap game prizes to boot

Delicious

  And I got a whole day with just Reese where we changed her clothes 5 times, went to the park in a party dress, ate ice cream, watered Papa's flowers and just hung out. 

Oh, and had tea with the Queen

The trip also started a new adventure in our life; Gord did his first block course at the University of Guelph towards his masters for a week while we were there and he's been a typing/studying machine (I had to wrestle him for the lap top tonight) ever since. In two years from now we can stop wrestling.


 I went from being a camera picture taker to a phone/instagram picture lover. I'm wondering if the novelty will wear off, but since I took a picture of our fish in the office to send to a sick co-worker today, just because it was that easy, I think friends and family will be annoyed for many more months to come from my new incessant hobby.

I got to catch up with a child hood friend and meet her daughter. Although we don’t chat much and I haven’t seen her in a few years, I feel a strong connection, a renewed connection and a desire to keep this friendship alive. This idea was hovering somewhere all along, but was set on fire after reading Kelle Hamptons Book, Bloom on the airplane there and was totally jealous and inspired by her amazing group of friends. I want that.

We also learned just how responsible Anthony is. He stayed in Calgary with his mom and he faced a new situation with a friend and their family and dealt with it very well. He also came to our house every day to check on the cats before heading to his moms. On the bus. The city bus. By himself. (Ok, it’s 2 stops away but this is a BIG deal). Stayed on his own for a bit in the morning time and made it to school without being late once. I’ll probably wake up tomorrow and he’ll ask to borrow the car. Sheesh.

We are back at it; the new normal of work and school. We are in full swing of adoption preparations with our home study booked over the next few weeks. We are still looking at August as our placement date and the frequency of ‘holy s!@%’ are coming at a rapid, daily pace now. There is gardening to be done. Oh so much gardening as well as planting our veggie garden if it ever stops raining for a day or two. There is also a mounting pile of sewing lists; news of new babies on the way means more quilts to make, summer means skirts and I have a pile of unfinished projects I need to wrap up. I love being busy so I’m soakin’ it all up!

For now though, sleep and dreams of lists…

Being Mom

A blog I love to read and follow, Enjoying the Small Things, asked for readers to comment on the beauty they have found in the unexpected, a theme derived from her new book Bloom. Given all that is happening with our pending adoption and mothers day looming, this is what came to my mind and was my comment:

I lost my mom to cancer when I was 21, and was still grieving and trying to figure it all out seven years later when I met my now husband and his son, who at the time was 5 years old. Because Anthony still has a very active mom in his life, and probably due to the grieving of my own mom, I've always struggled with seeing myself as a 'real mom'. I have had many identity crisis' over what being a mom means; does it mean you have to give birth? Does it mean you have to be the only mom figure in a child's life? And even though I knew the answer to these was no, in my heart I didn't believe it for a long time. Then we found out that I couldn't have children. Adoption was an obvious alternative for us (we are currently waiting to be placed with our child in the next couple of months!), but since making the decision to adopt, the battle inside my head emerged again and I asked myself over and over what does being a mom really mean? Who defines it? And what makes a person a mom? On and on the questions went. I can tell you now with confidence that it is me; I am a mom. I define what it means. You don't need to give birth to a child to be a mom to them, but you need to love and accept and embrace. I know Anthony sees me as his mom, his Step Mom, and it's a role I am proud to have. He has a mom too, and that's ok. This time next year I'll be an Adoptive Mom, another role I can't wait to have. But no matter how you slice it, I'm a mom. And that is the beauty that I have found in the unexpected.