Thursday, August 30, 2012

Sometimes it's hard

I said I was going to keep saying 2-3 weeks, 'cause it seemed manageable, but I think I need to let it go.

Things are moving along, but not as fast as we'd like. It's unsettling having our lives in the hands of others who may not feel like coming to work one day, or who put off doing a task for another day or two (we work with these guys...we know how they roll!) and that makes the difference of a day, or week or longer to us. To them it's a job, to us it's our lives. We simply do not know what's going on until it happens; things could be delayed for any number of reasons and we simply don't even know that it's being delayed. It can be very irritating to somebody who like a little lot of control.

All we do know is we don't have him. Or her. Or them. Just kidding, there's only one coming;)

We do know that we are being profiled on September 5th. This means that at a big meeting with the adoption workers for both the kids and potential parents, our worker will say she has a new family that is approved and give them a quick run down of us. Then the kids' adoption workers can read our home study and decide if we are a match for any of their kids on their case load.

This all seems great in theory, but very processey since we already know the kid we want and we know he needs a home. What's the problem people?! It kinda seems like this to me:  2+2 = 4 but so does 2+2-4+2+2-2+2 =4. One way is obviously easier and is a simpler and more logical way to go when you are going to arrive at the same answer in the end. Chances are it's going to be him, so why take the long way around when the destination is the same?

It's really hard to go about the day to day things knowing that he's doing the same. Without us. To know things like that he's going out this weekend to the Corn Maze. Yes I realize how silly and insignificant that sounds, but I wanted to do that. I've thought of doing that and imagined it and looked all over the website so I'd know exactly what we should do when we get there and I wrote it on a list of fun things we can do together with admission prices and times and everything. And I don't get to do it. Somebody else is (I happen to know the somebody else which is why we know about him in the first place). And it makes me want to stomp my feet and scream "it's not fair".

So that's where we are at; wait some more, then hurry up and wait some more. We meet with our worker on September 7th to chat...then I'm sure we will feel a little better, get tidbits of info that hold us for a while until the waiting gets too much again. This process until now has been easy, way easier than I thought it would be. But today, today was not a good adoption day. It's sad and frustrating and about 14 other emotions I can't even identify. I know it will pass. And I find a small, ok maybe a bit more than small comfort knowing that he's in good hands even if they aren't ours quite yet.

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