June update

This, this is going to be random. I wanted to write something sentimental. Something smart, something inspiring. But I've been sitting here for almost an hour chatting with my sister on Facebook and my mind is full of none of those things. Instead, here's the last week or so in photos.

 Fathers Day: Pancakes and Avengers. All. Morning. Long. (we never eat in front of the tv. It was special)

I have decided to look at cooking dinner as more of an opportunity to hone my culinary skills instead of a chore. This way, things are much more enjoyable. This Sunday I made a roast (delicious), whipped califlower (not so delicious - mostly because the blender is no substitute for a broken food processer. Lesson learned) and procuitto wrapped asparagus (success!)  
 

 And for dessert, I decided "enough Pining, time to do something to justify those hours of clicking and scrolling" so I made this: Apple and Brie with brown sugar and cinnamon (that's the butter on top pre-wrap and bake). This is the before shot; I ate the after shot. I panicked and skimped on the apple, and let me tell you, don't skimp on the apple. Also, raisins would be a good addition. Just sayin' for next time...

 The house has been kid proofed. Tomorrow is our last home study meeting and we have been busy little bees, bolting down tv's, finding lock boxes for meds, fire extinguishers, baby gates, electrical plugs, first aid kits and the list goes on. I've been whining a little (ok a lot) about it, but really in the end it all doesn't matter. JUST GIVE US OUR KID ALREADY!!!!

Meanwhile, this kid went to his first sleepover camp. No parents, not even 1 out of 4 for a whole 30 hours. Phew. He made it and even had fun (a 7/10 if you ask him). That's good news since he's going to a 5 day sleep away camp in a few weeks...ready for the big leagues!

 I made a skirt! It was super easy, about 2.5 hours. I love it and want to make more but I have a quilt at the quilters that will need binding and another quilt that needs to get sewn together and and and about another 8 projects on my list so we shall see how many more summer skirts get done (that and I need to wait for a good sale at Fabricland!)

 

 About 2 weeks ago on an unexpected sunny afternoon I plunked all our seeds into our garden. Finally. And basically it's been raining ever since. Such is life in Calgary. Despite all the rain, things are growing already The novelty of growing things doesn't ever seem to wear thin for me. I love it. I think it's amazing. This year we expanded our garden and now are attempting to have  beets, carrots, radish, peas, lettuce, potatoes, and onion.Yipeee!

And because of all the rain, I've been doing a lot. A LOT. of this. We got a library card and have actually been twice, which is one more time than the last time we renewed the card three years ago. It was cozy and nice the first few days and now I feel like I'm going to loose my mind if I don't get some consistent sunshine back in my life. I also really need to the sun to shine because it's embarrassing how much time I've spent on Pintrest, particularly the last few days. Enough. Give me my summer!

There's my not sentimental, smart or inspiring post. I feel it brewing, it's right there under the surface, so maybe next time I'll blow your mind with some steller thoughts. Maybe not, but maybe....

Ontario 2012: Epic Family Visiting Adventure

 We are back.

 It was a long visit and a good visit. There were many hours spent driving, many hours spent eating and many hanging wit da family and some friends. Oh, and the heat, for the love of everything crunchy and sweet, the heat was magnificent.

 
I particularly had fun spending time with my niece and nephew stuffing my face, and theirs, with all things sugary, sticky, food coloring full, and delicious :) Also learning more about my sisters new business and how excited and well she is doing at it; makes this little sister proud!

A 40 degree day at Canada's Wonderland

Wonderfully cheap game prizes to boot

Delicious

  And I got a whole day with just Reese where we changed her clothes 5 times, went to the park in a party dress, ate ice cream, watered Papa's flowers and just hung out. 

Oh, and had tea with the Queen

The trip also started a new adventure in our life; Gord did his first block course at the University of Guelph towards his masters for a week while we were there and he's been a typing/studying machine (I had to wrestle him for the lap top tonight) ever since. In two years from now we can stop wrestling.


 I went from being a camera picture taker to a phone/instagram picture lover. I'm wondering if the novelty will wear off, but since I took a picture of our fish in the office to send to a sick co-worker today, just because it was that easy, I think friends and family will be annoyed for many more months to come from my new incessant hobby.

I got to catch up with a child hood friend and meet her daughter. Although we don’t chat much and I haven’t seen her in a few years, I feel a strong connection, a renewed connection and a desire to keep this friendship alive. This idea was hovering somewhere all along, but was set on fire after reading Kelle Hamptons Book, Bloom on the airplane there and was totally jealous and inspired by her amazing group of friends. I want that.

We also learned just how responsible Anthony is. He stayed in Calgary with his mom and he faced a new situation with a friend and their family and dealt with it very well. He also came to our house every day to check on the cats before heading to his moms. On the bus. The city bus. By himself. (Ok, it’s 2 stops away but this is a BIG deal). Stayed on his own for a bit in the morning time and made it to school without being late once. I’ll probably wake up tomorrow and he’ll ask to borrow the car. Sheesh.

We are back at it; the new normal of work and school. We are in full swing of adoption preparations with our home study booked over the next few weeks. We are still looking at August as our placement date and the frequency of ‘holy s!@%’ are coming at a rapid, daily pace now. There is gardening to be done. Oh so much gardening as well as planting our veggie garden if it ever stops raining for a day or two. There is also a mounting pile of sewing lists; news of new babies on the way means more quilts to make, summer means skirts and I have a pile of unfinished projects I need to wrap up. I love being busy so I’m soakin’ it all up!

For now though, sleep and dreams of lists…

Being Mom

A blog I love to read and follow, Enjoying the Small Things, asked for readers to comment on the beauty they have found in the unexpected, a theme derived from her new book Bloom. Given all that is happening with our pending adoption and mothers day looming, this is what came to my mind and was my comment:

I lost my mom to cancer when I was 21, and was still grieving and trying to figure it all out seven years later when I met my now husband and his son, who at the time was 5 years old. Because Anthony still has a very active mom in his life, and probably due to the grieving of my own mom, I've always struggled with seeing myself as a 'real mom'. I have had many identity crisis' over what being a mom means; does it mean you have to give birth? Does it mean you have to be the only mom figure in a child's life? And even though I knew the answer to these was no, in my heart I didn't believe it for a long time. Then we found out that I couldn't have children. Adoption was an obvious alternative for us (we are currently waiting to be placed with our child in the next couple of months!), but since making the decision to adopt, the battle inside my head emerged again and I asked myself over and over what does being a mom really mean? Who defines it? And what makes a person a mom? On and on the questions went. I can tell you now with confidence that it is me; I am a mom. I define what it means. You don't need to give birth to a child to be a mom to them, but you need to love and accept and embrace. I know Anthony sees me as his mom, his Step Mom, and it's a role I am proud to have. He has a mom too, and that's ok. This time next year I'll be an Adoptive Mom, another role I can't wait to have. But no matter how you slice it, I'm a mom. And that is the beauty that I have found in the unexpected.

Superheros and Sugar

Last weekend the boys spent the WHOLE weekend at Calgary Comic Convention. I think they had fun....

I spent the whole weekend in the garden of which there are no photos because it looks like I hardly made a dent! Although, each year it seems we are making a small, and I mean a s.m.a.l.l., bit of progress with cleaning out a little section of weed/junk/overgrown disaster at a time and trying to purdy things up a bit. We are now on a garden plan. It's a multi-step program.


When I haven't been gardening I've been baking! Anthony and I make chocolate chili cookies (hands down best cookies ever!) a couple weeks ago and this weekend I made a chocolate cake with homemade coconut buttercream icing with toasted coconut on top to share with friends for a game night.

And a quick adoption update:
Our police checks and welfare checks are in so now our worker can put our names forward for our home study! There is no wait list for the home studies at this point and they take about 2 months to complete. After that we are matched with a kiddo and we were told we would be matched fast. Wowzer! Won't be long now! AHHHHHH!

In on it

 

This book is awesome. 

 

 In on it: What adoptive parents would like you to know about adoption. 

A guide for relatives and friends.

 By Elisabeth O'toole

I bought if for family and quickly read through it in one evening. As I sat to write this, I tried to go back and find my favorite passages to quote, but I'd just end up copying the entire book.

Although the book is written by an American author, and the process of adoption in Canada vs. America, Domestic vs. International, Private vs. Public etc etc. are vastly different, I found that this book captured the similarities of all those experiences as well as the underlying themes, feeling and messages that as an adoptive parent you experience. And, despite the vast differences in  the different kinds of adoptions, I was surprised at how closely it followed our process of domestic public adoption in Canada. The feelings, the stages, people reactions (oh gawd, people's reactions!) apparently are pretty darn universal in the adoption world, which I found reassuring and comforting.

Although the whole book, every chapter, every paragraph was like it was coming from my mouth, the one section that I could really really relate to was Chapter 7 - Talking about adoption and people's reactions.
The author lists some of the highlights form her own reaction pool including "how much did he cost?", "did you think about adopting from Utah? There are lots of white babies there and people don't drink", and "wow I just don't think I could ever adopt" (in front of her adopted kids). In a recent conversation with a coworker who has an adopted niece, she told me that her parents were asked "well is she from here?" and "is she normal". Sigh....

Since October, when we decided to adopt, we've heard it all too. Apparently it's another thing that is apparently universal in adoptionland.

(FYI, here comes a rant)

I get it that people don't mean to hurt my feelings, or are ill intending in their words, but there has been many statements to our news that have been surprisingly hurtful and offensive. It is shocking, the insensitivity and lack of self awareness that some people have.  I usually react with a tight lipped smile but some days it's hard to keep my mouth shut. I've had people shove ultrasounds of their growing babies in their belly's in my face minutes after talking about infertility. I've had people change the subject, literally change the subject to the weather without asking a question. I've had people ask if we are moving too fast, rushing into things (would you ask that to a 3 month old pregnant lady?) and my favorite so far has been (Me) " Hey soandso, nice new car, when did you buy it?" (soandso) "oh you don't buy a mini cooper, you adopt it. You get a certificate and everything"

However, probably the worst reaction of all is the "oh wow, good for you guys....you'll get pregnant now for sure. hahah". Yeah, haha. Let me kick you, haha. Every time somebody says that to me, I really do feel like kicking them. Do people really think that adopting a child is a way to achieve a biological child? It's not an anti-birth control people, it's a human being. It's like a punch in the face and dismissal to all the intense emotions, the time, the hours and hours of reseach, the sleepless nights wondering if I could parent a child that isn't biologically mine/FASD/another race/older/abused/trauma (it goes on and on, trust me), and the hours and hours of paperwork and workshops we've put into getting our child. Yeah sometimes it happens, like less than 5% of the time, which is basically the same (0 - 10%) chances that most infertile women (this one included) are give to have a biological child. But that's 5% chance over the next 20 or 25 years.  Not likely people, not bloody likely.

(Rant mostly over)

This reaction and it's inappropriateness is stated so strongly yet respectfully in the book and really explains it well, without kicking somebody, that it's probably one of my favourite sections.

So please, no matter what news story you heard on tv. No matter what miracle drug a friend a of a friend took and they got pregnant, don't tell someone that as soon as they adopt they will get pregnant. The adoptive parents (the ones who have arrived in adoptionworld due to infertility anyway) have already explored their options, talked to the experts, tried the drugs, and accepted it and moved passed it.

 (Ok, it's really over now)

Anyway, the point of this post isn't to kick and scream (ok it is a little bit), but to let people know of this great great book and if you know somebody adopting I highly recommend it so you can be in on it too.