Bring it on

Yesterday it was hard to breath.

The excitement of it all, now that it's only a week away, was brought up a notch as 7 days suddenly seems tangible. 7 days is doable and foreseeable. 7 days seems like a good place to count down from.
The butterflies moved in.

We officially began freakin' out.

My head is everywhere; can't focus, can't keep on topic during a conversation. Even if that conversation is about J it spurs a maze of off-shooting thoughts.

How the heck do I get through the next week?! Today as I was driving home from work, I thought for a moment that it wasn't actually safe for me to be driving. Yep, that's how far my brain has wondered. I had to take deep breaths and turn up the talk radio to try to get out of my head.

Breath.

Breath.

Breath.

I figure tomorrow I start list writing. That always seems to calm me down.

And we made some celebration plans.

Thursday night, the night before our Infoshare and possibly the last night Gord and I will have just the two of us (because of the way Anthony's schedule is with his mom's house and if things move like we think they will we are assuming it's THE last night of our half time parenting), we are going out to celebration the end of a chapter in our lives together. We are going to a restaurant that we can't take kids to and we are going to celebrate US. Then on Saturday we are going to celebrate Anthony and his last few moments of being an only child and do something that we wouldn't do with a 4 year old -  We are going to bundle up once it's dark and drive out of town and do some star gazing (and if we are lucky see some northern lights). And we will probably eat cake. Late at night. Just because we can. And four year olds, well they can't, so that's pretty special.

Bring it on; the tears, the excitement, the joy, the fear, the everything. I'm so ready for this.

The Prairies

A week or so ago we took a wee road trip to Bassano to take some pictures and have some good ol' small town prairie fun. It  was nice to leave the city on a hot afternoon/evening for a few hours - I don't think I would want to live in the middle of nowhere, but I sure like visiting. AND I had dinner next to a REAL cowboy in a REAL small town which is just like all my childhood fantasies come true (except, as a child I thought I'd be having dinner with the cowboy and living with the cowboy on my ranch and riding horses all day long...details). Anyway, we had fun and then we photoshoped the heck out of the pictures so there they are:)

 

 

                                                                                                           If you look closely you can see Harry's on 
                                                                                                                                   the right side (Gord actually knows Harry) 
                                                                                                                                    and that's where the cowboy was...I'm 
                                                                                                                                   pretty sure that's his truck out front.

 

 

 Hope you are all having a wonderful week:)

The other kind of adoption cry

There is another kind of crying that comes along with the adoption; it's equally as messy as the frustration tears, but it's WAY better.

It's the grateful cry.

I can not even write this without the screen getting blurry though all my grateful tears.

These tears have been coming more frequent over the last month or so. It happens when I start thinking about our friends and family and co-workers and their reactions to us adopting. They have been the most amazing and supportive people through this last year. Their genuine excitement and interest and kind words are ridiculously humbling. Sometimes they even cry too. Which of course makes me cry and then things quickly spiral out of control. They can even get a tad messy 'cause this girl ain't a pretty crier. But it's a ridiculously good messy.

And the kindness just keeps rollin'. It's not an ask a few questions to be polite and forget it kind of thing. They keep asking what the latest news is and where things are at week after week. They want to know how we are doing and why I keep showing up at work instead of being at home! They are supportive and excited and kind and amazing.


The grateful cry comes because there was a time when I thought I would not get to experience the excitement of others at the news of a new arrival to our family.  I did not think I would have friends and co-workers talking about throwing parties and showers for us...ahhh, I need another freakin' kleenex.

It has been a roller coaster couple of years.

But I sit here contemplating it all and I am happy.

I am grateful for peoples kindness.

And it is all just ridiculously humbling.

What I'm trying to say is thank you to all of you who have asked questions, gotten excited and listened to us gush (and complain and worry and freak out) over every step forward. It's overwhelming and perfect.

Holy Fantastic Summer Batman!

In the winter, I don't really leave the house. I'm a couch and blanket kinda gal. But in the summer - whooweee! We've been movin' and shakin' all over the city. This is all in between buying furniture and assembling it, editing our home study and freaking out about our adoption getting closer, working...sort of...and trying to garden among the hoards of wasps (see below). Here's what we've been up to in no less than 21 pictures, no particular order cause that would be too difficult for blogger...have I ever mentioned just how much I love my Android phone? And how Gord puts up with me taking pictures. All. The. Time?

Fringe Festival and Sunfest. The two go hand in hand. We didn't get to see as many plays this year as we have the previous two but we still had fun and the weather was fan-freakin'-tastic. We even

 

We bought bocce ball. We've only been out once, but it's ready and 

waiting by the front door for any impromptu game that may pop up.

 One of us went to his first sleep away camp and had blast

 (this was the before where things were a bit more unsure)

We ate at the Calgary Food Trucks one night for dinner. 

It was by the river, it was hot. I had lemon gelato. Nuff said. 

 

Went to the Chinese Festival with Anthony and his friend Max. Then took them for 

Thai food (makes sense right?) I got the sense it was Max's first time eating 

something more exotic than a pb and j....he did pretty good considering!

 I made cheese sauce from scratch, with no recipie. I think this officially means I can cook. This is big news.

  We had lumberjack training camp in the back yard. Anthony was pretty good and I was very impressed since he can barely life the ax! He was very determined and worked really hard and did better than I can!

 

 Enter the rolo smore. Say no more, except this: This coming weekend there are plans for 

some more serious smore testing and experimenting. We know how to rock a campfire.

 I made two baby quilts. The plan is to sell some and fund me getting out of the house while on parental leave. I want to learn Spanish and maybe take some kind of dance class again...anybody in the quilt market?

 We've had a couple of wicked storms the last week and this was trying to break into our

house during one of them. So loud it was unbelievable. We were luck though and had no 

major damage like some people who had their windshields smashed out of the cars!

 I got stung by a wasp for the first time ever. I had no idea is was different from a bee sting and man alive did it ruin a couple of days for me! I did not react well to the little sucker but the doc said nothing I can do. These were from 4 and 5 days after the bite. 3 weeks later I still have a small hole in the back of my leg!

 We volunteered at my works annual casino. As you can see by how they serve their tea, it's

a classy joint. I watched the food network for 8 hours in between my very infrequent duties.

Gord and I found a Peruvian restaurant. We had Inca Cola and an appetizer. Then Gord informed me I just ate beef heart. I wanted to run and hide. But I ate one more piece just to prove I could do it. I don't know if I need to prove it again. Ever.

This weekend should be a bit quieter...maybe...but we still have lots on the go and lots of fun summer plans in the works. Hope you are all well:)

What's Working?

There's a blog that I started following a little while ago and am quite enjoying. It's called My Fascinating Life.  The woman who writes it is linking blogs talking about what's going well for people, and since things seem to be pretty darn great around here these days, I thought I'd join in. Here's what's working well for me/us right now.

*Prepping Anthony for adoption. The conversations we are having are funny, interesting, enjoyable and are reminding me that as smart as he is, he is still 10 years old and thinks like a 10 year old. His openness though in talking about his fears (particularly over his 3ds, of course) are comforting and reassuring to us that we are approaching this whole crazy train in the right way. We know this because when we make reference to a brother, the kid doesn't even flinch or miss a beat. (We meet our adoption worker this week too. Yippee -  Another step towards chaos!)

*30 day challenges. Gord challenged himself in March to write everyday. Turns out when you write for 2-3 hours each day you end up with a book. A whole freakin' book! He may even try to get it published. So, it inspired me to make my own challenge and for the month of April I am exercising everyday. I haven't missed a day yet and I'm tired and energetic at the same time. It's definitely a challenge to make sure I plan ahead in the day of when I'm going to fit it in, and then there's the actual doing part that's a challenge too. But I"m determined to not fail and I figure in the end it's a double victory; one for my body and two for my stubbornness of refusing to loose to myself!

*The Sopranos. We don't have cable but download movies once in a while to watch at night. About once a year, we fall into a pattern of downloading a show and getting hooked. Right now it's The Sopranos, which I never watched when it was on. We are just starting season three and have been watching at least 1 episode a night. It's become such a routine and habit and I am loving curling up on the couch under a big fat blanket with Gord and turning my brain off for 40 minutes.

*Visiting in Medicine Hat. Two days of watching the Food Network, hanging with family and doing nothing but eating and sitting around (minus my exercise time of course)went very well for me:) Our drive out even included seeing two trains (when I can see the beginning and end of a train at the same time I feel like it's a prairie victory), tumble weed and finding the end of a power line. I know this may sound a little strange, but not being from the prairies these things are very satisfying to see when in the middle of nothing but field and sky. You feel like you got you money's worth and got the real prairie experience (what can I say, small things amuse me?)

*There's so much else that is well and making me happy right now: The kitties - cause they are always a barrel of entertainment and cuteness and I'm particularly enjoying their cuddliness right now. Prepping for Gord to return to school is going well. Getting ready for spring and enjoying some moments in the warm sunshine over the past week are definitely going well. Feeling somewhat on top of distant friends and connecting with them - yep that's going well. Having Anthony's assessment and diagnosis confirmed - well. Sewing - well. Feeling relatively calm and sane - check! That's also well!

I think I may have to stop there as I must go get my exercises in!

(just because all this is going well doesn't mean it's going to come to a crashing halt right? Sometimes too much well and optimism can make a girl feel that way! I guess that's for a different post...!)